Why Is This A Thing?

You're probably wondering why women's rights are even an issue. I mean, women can vote, work, get abortions, and use birth control now. Legislation's assured that women do have some benefits, such as mandatory paid maternity leave (although not in the U.S.; that's right, the United States has no mandatory paid maternity leave!), and having the ability to report rape and assault.

Generally, women are okay legally, but what about socially? That's the focus of this blog, after all. Women still get the short end of the stick compared to men when it comes to a number of matters, especially sexuality for some reason...

Society tends to look down on women when they make their own decisions regarding their own lives, no matter what those decisions are, yet no matter what men do, they are viewed favourably or are excused. Remember when an Ohio high school football team gang raped a girl (multiple times) and they were let off the hook? 

Yes, that is an extreme example, but it still shows that women are still viewed as property, or that they at least need to be controlled (while guys get to do just about whatever they want). Women's rights are still an issue because we have politicians trying to define what rape is:

I also need to note that abortion is still an unreasonably sensitive topic, people still gripe about affirmative action policies, and there is a lot of blatant sexual exploitation going on in the media. Slut-shaming has led to young women committing suicide, and victims of rape are still asked what they were wearing.

So that's why women's rights are still an issue. Until patriarchy, misogyny, and ludicrous double standards fade out of our lives, feminism will be necessary. After all, "social science affirms that a woman's place in society marks the level of civilization." So close, yet so far...

- Carli_V

Slut-Shaming

I'm just going to get this one out of the way. It's a stupid issue, and I wish it wasn't, but it is, so here we go!

A common belief, which is erroneous, is that feminists are against sluts. People tend to think that sluts impair the feminist movement. It makes a lot of sense; sluts are objectifying themselves! Sluts allow men to control them! Right?

Wrong! And here's why!

Feminism is about freedom of choice and bodily autonomy. Feminists saying that sluts impede the movement are impeding the movement themselves. Sluts are merely exercising their right to sexual freedom and expression (a.k.a. the whole point of feminism), so saying that sluts are a problem is actually anti-feminist.

Before I continue, let me just clarify what "slut" means to me. I'm using my own definition, and it's fairly common, but people have different definitions. To me, a "slut" is a woman who engages in casual sex. A slut is a promiscuous woman, and that's it.

Now for more explanation as to what slut-shaming is. Slut-shaming is the act of shaming someone for being a slut. It's pretty straight-forward. Here are some lovely examples:

• Girls these days have no self-respect
• Wow what a slut/whore
• Oh em gee she slept with this many guys

Easy A is an accurate portrayal of this

You will usually find these in response to an image of a woman who is wearing revealing clothing. Instead of thinking positive things like "wow, good for you, you must feel free and confident!" people decide to think "wow, this chick has no respect for herself, cover yourself up you harlot". It's a stranger on the internet that you don't know personally, but she's showing her boobs! No self-respect!

The problem with this is that when you treat women like an "other" just for having sex, you make it okay for other people to treat these women badly and harm them. Slut-shaming is a problem because it leads to rape, sexual assault, and violence against women. These women are seen as less than human, so people (particularly men but it can go both ways) think they're justified in hurting them.

And do I even have to point out the blindingly obvious double standard here? If a guy goes out and has sex with ten girls, he's cool! He got laid! Awesome! But if a girl does the same thing, she's a slut and she's degrading herself. Shame!

A common argument in favour of slut-shaming is the whole safety issue. Having many different partners means that you are at more risk of getting an STD or getting pregnant or raped or some other horrible thing. I actually refuse to to believe that it's about safety at all. You can be ethical and smart about who you choose to sleep with. Give women a little more credit!

In my opinion, this is more about control and sexual snobbery. All I get out of slut-shaming is, "you are not having sex the way I would have sex, the way I think you should have sex, or the way I want you to have sex, so you deserve to be treated like garbage".

For the record, I wouldn't call myself a slut. I am as "pure" as the freshly fallen snow, and there's nothing wrong with that, either. There's nothing wrong with having sex, and there's nothing wrong with not having sex. It all depends on the individual. And what the individual does is nothing but their own business and anyone who is directly involved (i.e. their sexual partners). We need to put this sexual snobbery to rest and start accepting each other instead of knocking each other down. 

A concise illustration of the openness spectrum and the problems with dichotomies.

So there. That's slut-shaming. It's a bad thing. It's a crappy thing to do, and partaking in it doesn't make you a better person. It really doesn't. Trust me, I used to do it all the time, and I now see the error of my ways. Also, it's just a lot easier to let people do what they want!

- Carli_V

Nudity vs Pornography

This is a good direction to go in seeing as I just discussed why sluts aren't bad. I'm going to discuss yet another theory I have for slut-shaming and why it happens, only I'll be focusing more on the aesthetic aspect of it.

Typically, when we see women wearing revealing clothing, we think "loose woman", and in comes the slut-shaming and "self-respect" nonsense. We go on to say that showing cleavage and legs and bellies is disgusting. But why?

This has always confused me to no end. Why do we shame people for showing their body parts? They're just body parts! They're just boobs and legs and bellies! So why does society have such a huge problem with people showing them?

Good question!

People seem to confuse simple nudity with pornography. Our society has sexualized the human body to such an extent that regular body parts, i.e. boobs, are seen as sexual and therefore bad, along with the women that choose to show them. It's seen as pornographic and immoral, and these women are labelled as sluts or whores, or lacking in self-respect.

Speaking of self-respect, can someone please explain to me why we assume that people who show a lot of skin have no respect for themselves? I believe common sense dictates that what you wear doesn't automatically define you as a person or what sort of a person you are. Why are we so judgmental?

You can hate your body and yourself yet still cover up (like I did between the ages of 11 and 16), or you could love yourself and still cover up. You can hate yourself and show skin to get attention (not something I'd recommend but whatever makes you happy), or you can love yourself and want to show that body off. It all comes down to personal preference and comfort level, and telling people what they can and can't wear just because we don't personally approve of it is kind of a crappy thing to do.

Here is the proper response to give someone who tries to lecture you on what you should and shouldn't wear.

The bottom line is that nude =/= pornographic. Porn is people actually having sex, not just standing there being naked (that would be pretty bad porn). We just get these all mixed up thanks to the media, our values, and our social norms. Still, the sooner we get over this irrational fear of our own anatomy, the more we can move forward and be happy.

No matter how much skin somebody shows, they're still a human being with feelings, and should be treated with respect. We also need to stop being so uptight!

- Carli_V

Misogyny, Internalized Misogyny, and Patriarchy: What are they?

You might have noticed that in my blog description, there's a word that may not be familiar to you: patriarchy. In this entry, I'll be describing basic terms associated with feminism so you don't end up getting lost in subsequent posts. Misogyny is easy enough to understand, but those other two need some additional explanation.

To put it simply, misogyny is the hatred or dislike of women. It can manifest itself in a number of ways, mainly through sexual objectification and violence against women (which are still glorified in the media), along with discrimination of whatever kind against women.

Internalized misogyny is, using my own personal way of putting it, when women believe horrible things about themselves because of the values they're conditioned to accept, many of which are inherently misogynistic. For example, women calling other women sluts/whores/other sexually demeaning insults. If you believe that women are inferior in a given situation, despite being a woman yourself, you have some internalized misogyny! (I hope this isn't the case, though.)

Patriarchy took me a while to understand. It was a weird term that I was only able to fully grasp through looking at the context it was used in, until I looked it up and finally figured it out for sure. I'll just use Wikipedia's definition: 

"Patriarchy (rule by fathers) is a social system in which the male is the primary authority figure central to social organization and the central roles of political leadership, moral authority, and control of property, and where fathers hold authority over women and children. It implies the institutions of male rule and privilege, and entails female subordination."

That is a very concise way of putting it, but it does the job (feel free to scan the article for more information). Hopefully you now have an idea of what I'm talking about when I use that term. Most of the problems that women have in today's society are a result of this social system.

So there you go! You now have an idea of what misogyny, internalized misogyny, and patriarchy are! Yay! It's useful to know because I'll be using those words a lot later on. Thank you and have a nice day.

- Carli_V