Makeup

So there's another weird thing going on. More people thinking they have the authority to dictate other people's lives. Of course. Because body and sex policing wasn't enough, we have freakin' makeup policing now!

This post won't just be about the demonizing of women who wear makeup. This includes boob jobs, wearing certain clothes, colouring your hair etc. So basically, everything we girls do to make ourselves presentable. The word "presentable" means different things to different people, but, naturally, lots of people still think their personal definition is the only "right" one.

Snooki lady don't give a shit

I'm seen a lot of girls hating on other girls for wearing makeup and getting fake tans and all that crap. By hating, I mean taking the piss out of. Endless ridicule and general nastiness because people look a certain way that others happen to dislike. People who do the whole makeup and fake tan thing are often labelled as fake, sluts, or fake sluts.

I used to be in the same boat. Notice how I used to do a lot of the things I'm now totally against. That's some great character development there. Now I realize that other people making themselves look a certain way isn't bad or wrong. It's all up to them and whatever makes them feel comfortable.

Yet we still assume that the only reason a girl would wear makeup is either due to insecurity or because she's trying to impress someone. I know that plenty of girls do this, and it's not really a bad thing. I'd probably do the same thing. The only reason I don't wear makeup is because it's expensive and I don't have the motivation or time. But do you see me judging other people for wearing it?

If someone wants to take the time, effort, and money to make themselves look a certain way, I say let them. It has no effect on my life whatsoever, so I won't get my panties all up in a bunch. That's just dumb. I'm pretty sure most women put effort into their makeup because they feel like it or really want to. Besides, nobody wants to have their breakouts and baggy eyes hanging out for all the world to see.

It's the same principle for every other alteration women make to their bodies. If they want to shave, let them. If not, cool. If they want to get implants, sure, go ahead. If not, still cool. Spray tan? Well, why not! See, it may not be "real", but that's the version of themselves that they want to present. If that's what it takes to make them feel comfortable and confident, great for them.

Notice how you never hear these people complaining about it. They don't complain about doing their hair and makeup for an hour. I actually love doing my hair and makeup. It's like drawing a picture or painting. It's creating a style for yourself that you like. It's making an image of yourself that's aesthetically pleasing and also a form of expression.

So if these women (or men) are happy doing what they're doing, why act like a miserable dick? Also, if they're as insecure as we tend to think they are, won't shaming them just make them feel worse? Do people really not see how shaming anyone for doing harmless things is insanely counter-productive (and just silly)?

These are the thoughts that keep me awake at night. And also wondering what happened to those fish from Finding Nemo. Yeah. I have to go for a walk now. Bye.

- Carli_V

Sex Workers

Hello all. I am too tired for exclamation points. Today I'll be talking to you about women working in the sex industry. The sex industry includes jobs such as exotic/pole dancing, prostitution, porn, stripping, etc. You get the idea.

You already know my opinion on sluts and, by extension, my opinion on women's sex lives in general. It should left alone. To recap, women should be allowed to freely express themselves in whatever way they want as long they're comfortable and not harming anyone else. That's the whole point of feminism, so of course I wouldn't be putting sex workers in a negative light.

The only time sex work is a problem is when women are forced to do it because of poverty and are not protected by legislation in any way. That is the case for most women who do sex work; they need the extra cash to sustain themselves (and their families). Sure, some women do it just because they genuinely enjoy it. I'd take up pole dancing myself if I didn't look like a sloth.

How

Society tends to look down on sex workers. Notice how in the news, the news anchor is more likely to say "a man killed two prostitutes" rather than "two women" and they won't spend more than 30 seconds on the story. This is because prostitutes aren't even seen as people. Sex workers in general are seen as less than human because they're "selling themselves" for money.

Why? These women have lives. They have feelings, thoughts, emotions, dreams, and in a lot of instances, children and families. Yet we never really think about that. We never consider why sex workers do sex work in the first place. We dismiss them instead of really thinking about and understanding what sort of circumstances force women to do this.

There's also that annoying myth of personal responsibility. If you have to "sell your body" (again with the degrading language) to put food on the table, you dun goofed up. You were too lazy and slutty and stupid to be able to have a "good" or "real" job. You don't need experience or training to be a stripper or pole dancer or porn star or whatever, right?

Wrong. Strippers and pole dancers alone need years of experience with ballet and gymnastics. Most pole dancers have dancing experience of some sort. They need to work out every day and stay healthy and fit in order to pull the stunts they do. Do you know how hard it is to physically strain yourself for an entire night and still look damn good while doing it? I look like I got hit by a train after just 20 minutes of light exercise (yeah I'm out of shape but that's not the point).

What is gravity

Also, if you're a porn star, you have to look perfect. That's thousands of dollars of plastic surgery we're talking about. Even your private parts might have to be altered (yes they can do that) if they don't look good enough for those closeups.

Prostitution's a bit different. Many of the women that are forced to be prostitutes are either poor or have been tricked into being integrated into the sex trade. Many of these women are then abused physically, emotionally, and sexually. But, of course, since prostitutes are dehumanized, there's little to no help available for them. Nobody feels the need to help them because they're regarded as parasites.

^A video that promotes a campaign called Stop the Traffik^

Prostitution is still illegal in most places, too, so if a prostitute is raped or assaulted, she can't go to the police because she was breaking the law, which is plain old unfair and unjust. Also, rape culture is a thing. Because the woman is a prostitute, it isn't seen as rape because she has sex all the time anyway. There's also that video up there, which reveals how many women really do end up in the sex trade/industry (there's a difference).

My point is that these women we call "prostitutes/whores/hookers/strippers" are people just like you and me. They're people with their own lives, some including families, poverty, or abuse and exploitation. We all have to make a living somehow, and we shouldn't be shaming other people for not doing it in a way that we personally approve of. I'm not expecting anyone to commend or look up to sex workers, but respect and equal treatment really isn't asking a lot.

- Carli_V

Ke$ha vs. Taylor Swift

You bet your ass I'm dragging pop culture into this! For this entry I'll be discussing why I have more respect for Ke$ha than I do for Taylor Swift. And this has nothing to do with their music. I don't like either of them in terms of music, and I apologize if you happen to like Taylor Swift (who I'll be criticizing heavily). Rather, I'm targeting their attitudes toward women and feminism.

We're all familiar with how Ke$ha operates. She writes annoying generic pop songs about getting drunk, partying, one-night stands, all that promiscuous stuff. She even objectifies men in her videos. How on earth do you respect someone like that?

Meanwhile, Taylor Swift is just an innocent girl that keeps getting dumped by those meanie boyfriends of hers because they prefer to be with slutty hoebags (not because she's mentally stuck in middle school, it's because she wears t-shirts and sneakers and those other girls wear short skirts and high heels!). She's a sweet inspiration that's uplifting young girls everywhere!

Haha

So why do I have more respect for Ke$ha? This may come as a surprise to you, but she writes her music ironically. I am absolutely certain that she's pretty much a parody artist. She's a feminist, too. In her songs, she talks about drinking and casual sex and makes men out to be sexual objects. Who else does this in their song writing? Where else to do you find this?

Men. Rappers. Rock and roll musicians. Try finding a rock and roll or rap song that doesn't involve drinking, drugs, casual sex, and/or sexual objectification of women. Notice how nobody seems to care when men write songs about this. Then Ke$ha does the exact same thing, and she's branded as a dirty whore that's poisonous for young women everywhere. Woah! A double standard! Big surprise there. Let's just sit down for a minute and contemplate this brand new concept.

In response to the media and public's frequent criticisms, Ke$ha said in an interview, "if men can talk about drinking in every awesome rock 'n' roll song and every awesome rap song, why can't a woman? Just because I drink doesn't mean I'm a drunk. Just because I have sex, and I'm not embarrassed doesn't mean I'm a whore." Well said, lady.

So you can see now why I respect Ke$ha more than Taylor Swift. She does what she wants, she promotes healthy body image (notice how she looks a little more strong and curvy), she goes against the double standard, and she's just herself, basically. Yet, of course, in the comments of every article that praises her, there are waves upon waves of hate, and mostly from women (and men crying "misandry"). Weird.

Taylor Swift, on the other hand... let me tell you why Taylor Swift is less of a healthy role model than Ke$ha. Let me just get all my superficial frustrations out. She's mentally stuck in middle school, as I said before. All she's ever written about is how all her boyfriends dump her for somebody else (who she usually shames in one way or another for stupid reasons). 

She constantly victimizes herself (although not always, I know). She's hypocritical. She did a horrid cover of Lose Yourself by Eminem. She perpetuates the virgin/whore dichotomy. She slut-shames ("She’s not a saint and she’s not what you think/She’s an actress, whoa/She’s better known for the things that she does on the mattress, whoa.”). Essentially, in my eyes, she's a grown ass woman that acts like a 12-year-old. She's an immature jerk. Yet everyone still looks up to her for some reason.

It's actually of no surprise to me that a slut-shaming purity princess is put on a pedestal in this society, where slut-shaming is rampant and there's still that idea that if you have casual sex then you lose all your worth as a person. I'm not denying that men get judged as well for their sexual activities, but it isn't nearly as bad, you have to admit. Just watch Mean Girls and you'll see what I mean.

So now you know why I think Ke$ha is more respectable than Taylor Swift is. You can drink a lot and have sex and everything and still be smart and a good person. Woah what a thought! It's unfortunate that Taylor Swift doesn't get called out for her BS more often. Regardless of what you think of their music, the sharp contrast between these two women and how society sees them is both interesting and annoying.

- Carli_V

Men's Rights

... And why you should not take "Men's Rights" activists seriously.

This is something that's been bothering me for months, and now I finally have the perfect outlet. You'd think that I'd be able to support the notion of a Men's Rights movement ('cause you know, gender equality), but here's the thing: the "men's rights movement" does absolutely nothing for men's rights. For the most part, it doesn't actually help a single person. Plus, feminists and so-called "masculists" are actually fighting against the exact same thing.

That thing is patriarchy.  The problem with men's rights activists is that they're too busy stroking their bruised egos to see that it's the patriarchal system that's developed over hundred of years, that men themselves put there in the first place, that is the cause of all their "problems". Like I said, we are fighting against the exact same frickin' thing!

You might be wondering what exactly it is men have to complain about. The majority of men's rights activist's grievances are quite absurd. A lot of them include females not wanting to have sex with them (i.e. "nice guys"), not being allowed to have custody (this one I can understand), thinking that rape could be justified, and other such nonsense. See, if they were actually working to defend trans* men, men of colour, and other groups of men that legitimately face oppression, I'd be able to respect them more, but nope. They're just plain petty.

They also sometimes complain about the double standard that women can't rape or be violent and that men are seen as pussies when they show any sign of emotion. These and the custody one I can totally understand, but you know why this is a problem? That damn patriarchy!

The patriarchal system has conditioned us to believe that men have to be strong and tough and emotionless. They have to be able to hide their pain and move on with life. They shouldn't be taking any shit from women, and if they do, they're whipped or whatever stupid labels we decide to give them. Guys can't be sensitive or "weak". Being sensitive and weak is the woman's job!

Do you see what I mean? I can see the problems, but that's what feminism is against in the first place, so why are we butting heads? We're butting heads because the majority of men's rights activists are just whiny man children with entitlement issues. There's also that annoying but common misconception that all feminists are man-hating dykes that refuse to shave. If I were to converse with an MRA (because "men's rights activist" is too much typing), he'd assume that, because I call myself a feminist, I'll be an hysterical hostile bitch just because he's a man.

Truth is, I only get hostile when people are being willfully stupid and ignorant, or they're attacking me in some way (which is rare because I don't put myself out there much in case you haven't noticed). This is the case for most other feminists as well. And people in general I think. If you're attacking someone's beliefs based on incorrect preconceived notions, hostility should be expected!

Don't think I'm denying that hatred against men for being men exists (what they like to call "misandry"). Of course it does. It's dumb, but it's there. But acting like a bunch of whiny crybabies won't help much, will it? Their poorly constructed (often hypocritical) arguments and attitudes toward women and feminism don't do anything for their cause. It only makes them look silly.

So, if men are truly passionate about their rights, then they should also be feminist. Feminism stands for gender equality, not hysterical lesbians taking over the world and bleeding on everything you love. The men's rights movement is counter-productive and they're only shooting their gender in the foot with all these "how dare de wimmenz not hav sex w me" comments.

My personal favourite

Also, I couldn't think of any pictures to use, so I'm just using these Twitter screencaps making fun of them. I'd laugh if it didn't hurt (stupid wisdom teeth removal).

The main point still stands, though: patriarchy hurts everyone. It doesn't care whether you have a dick or not. Unfortunately, these MRA's are too lazy and vindictive to actually think about what feminism stands for.

- Carli_V

Body Positivity

Hi friends! So I think I'm going to move on to a lighter topic, although it's just as serious as the previous entry.

Last semester when I had Challenge and Change, Ms. Snyder pointed out that in a lot our Selfing Papers, we used bad body image as one of our traits (we had to analyze ten of our personality traits). I was one of them. Whether you want to admit it or not, we've all had moments where we feel insecure about our appearance. This isn't just a girl thing, either. I know plenty of guys who have bad self-esteem. Anyone can fall victim to this! Still, I'll be focusing on women, as it's undeniable that women tend to feel the pressure more than men do.

As a response to the rampant body image issues among women, a string of "love your body" type campaigns have appeared. Victoria's Secret has one, and Dove is well-known for its campaign.

I'm sure you've all seen this circulating the interwebs

Now, as admirable as these campaigns are, both are problematic. You might be thinking, "why? What's wrong with the Dove one?" What tends to happen with body positive movements is that one group is put down in order for another one to be brought up, rather than bringing all people of all body types up at the same time.

The Victoria's Secret one implies that you have to skinny and fit and toned to love your body. The Dove one implies that you have to be... not skinny to have "real" beauty. See what I mean? These ads never have both skinny and curvy women for some reason.

The sad part is that I used to do this all the time. When I was heavier, I ripped on skinny people like crazy. I always assumed that because they're skinny, they don't eat or they're stuck up or whatever. Then I saw this picture, which was a great slap in the face.

This image has a valid point. Skinny people get just as many negative comments as larger people do. Around the same time I had this epiphany, I started to work out and lose weight. I ended up losing 30 pounds. Afterward, I started hearing things like, "oh my god you're so skinny, do you ever eat? You need to eat more! You're too skinny now!" Seriously? I just lose a bunch of weight, I finally feel more confident in myself, and you're saying stuff like this? I'm not even that skinny!

Honestly, if you're happy with how you look, you've already won. It doesn't matter what you look like. Who cares what other people think? If someone insults your appearance, there's nothing wrong with you. That person's just an immature shallow jerk.

Unfortunately, Hollywood and the media make it damn near impossible to find it in you to love yourself.

You knew this would happen sooner or later

As a society, people tend to set standards of beauty that are impossible to reach. If you don't have a number of the things Tina Fey listed, then you're not regarded as beautiful. If you haven't noticed, every woman in every Hollywood movie ever looks basically the same. Same proportions, same style, same hair, same skin tone, same body, same everything. They just have different faces so we can tell them apart. What is being promoted here?

I'm not saying that there's something wrong with women who look like that. I'm saying that it's wrong to only represent women in that way when hardly any women actually look like that. Just go for a walk down King Street for 20 minutes and you'll see. Even worse is that I've noticed that men tend to expect women to look like "Hollywood" women. The double standard is hideous.

Another hideous double standard is that men tend to be ignored when it comes to self-esteem. We kind of just assume that because they're guys, they just don't care. They don't really need to, right? Nope. Turns out men have the exact same problems!

I've even seen some in-fighting among men where body types are concerned. Big men are called fatasses, little guys are called pussies, and shiny sculpted muscular men are considered "too" perfect. It seems that no matter what gender you are or what body type you have, you just can't win. According to someone else, there will always be something wrong with you. This is why you might as well just brush it off and keep moving forward.

Like I said, there will always be people who think they're justified in being shallow assholes. I truly believe that everyone is beautiful. Now this does NOT mean that I don't have preferences. You can be body positive and still find certain things more attractive than others. What I mean when I say "everyone is beautiful" is that everyone is deserving of respect and kindness regardless of what they look like. Everyone has value, and that value isn't measured by the size of your pants.

As far as self-esteem goes, I still have some work to do. Lots of people have room for improvement. It doesn't matter how big or small you are, you're cute/hot/pretty whatever you want to be called! And if anyone ever tries to lecture you about what you eat or do, eat them!

-Carli_V

P.S. Snyder suggested taking life drawing classes so you can see how much variety there really is in people's looks! But if drawing naked people isn't really your thing, you could just go out in public or sit at a Starbucks outside and observe (as in discreetly people-watch).